Archive - Mar 2016

March 17th

A Little Something Extra

« March 2016 »

Memo to Supreme Court obstructionists, late-night hosts, and Breitbartians: YOU ARE DUMB.

I don't mean to brag, and I don't mean to boast, but this week's SPASTIC TOPIC MONKEY FRIDAY covers three topics from the last week of news in a compact, easy-to-carry format. Good thing I didn't mean to brag or boast, because you probably know the format already.

As a general rule, my biggest problem with Obama is that when I want him to be idealistic, he's pragmatic and tactical (abandoning the public option, for example) and when I want him to be pragmatic and tactical, he's idealistic (his continued insistence that he could work with congressional Republicans). But I can't fault his Supreme Court choice. It's so transparently tactical that the only way it could possibly work is if the Republicans were mindless Pavlovian idiots.

So, yeah, it's working as well as it can work. Merrick Garland is literally everything Republians could want in a Democratic Supreme Court nominee. Moderate, white, male, and old. He ticks so many boxes in a relative sense that Republicans actually got suckered into asking if they could keep him if Hillary wins, which is hilarious, because it's a further admission that this is all political gamesmanship. I can't imagine it'll do much good long term, because the entire argument comes down to governing versus poitics, and that argument got lost a long time ago.

I'm no fan of Marco Rubio, and I'm glad he's out of the race, but, um, comedians? Could you maybe not adopt the "Little Marco" nickname Donald Trump coined by using it over and over again during the infamous "there's no problem with my penis" debate? It's a weird bully name from the mind of a weird bully, and I'm not sure why you've taken to it, given your understandable and legitimate animosity towards Donald Trump.

I mean, first of all, it's not even a great burn. If Donald Trump had somehow stumbled across a sobriquet of such cutting satire that it perfectly encapsulated Rubio's essence, maybe I could see the appeal of picking it up, despite the tainted taint that was its source. But it's not. It's just "Little Marco". It's not a pun, it's not a pop culture reference, it's just calling a guy small. Be better.

It's very inside baseball, but I thought it would be a valuable service for me to explain to you the whole Breitbart-Trump meltodown and series of resignations you may have seen in the political media over the last week. Let's see if I can be concise.

Many people are assholes. Sometimes, those assholes agree with each other, and therefore aren't assholes towards each other, but instead focus their assholery outward. But, should a disagreement of some form occur, the full force of that mutual assholery is turned inward in a mutually destructive manner. The other thing you need to know is that "resigning from Breitbart in protest" is an act with just as much personal cost, and just as much effect on the world, as posting to your LiveJournal that you will no longer be posting to your LiveJournal. Put those two things together, and boom, the Breitbart-Trump "scandal". You're welcome.