Archive - Mar 2016

March 29th

Moral Relativity Explained To The Acting Community

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Memo to Donald Trump, Pat McRory, and Susan Sarandon: YOU ARE DUMB.

You know what's better than an awful person doing awful things? A really good person doing really good things. You know what else is better? A mediocre person doing mediocre things. Hell, even a slighly shitty person doing slightly shitty things is better. That's important to remember after I demonstrate two truly awful people in IDIOTS SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS!

"It’s the biggest problem the world has, nuclear capability. I think it’s the single biggest problem. When people talk global warming, I say the global warming that we have to be careful of is the nuclear global warming." Donald Trump, who, it's important to remind you, is also an idiot.

I know I'm a child of the 80s, but I seem to recall a little thing called "nuclear winter", in which the dust and such raised by nuclear explosions fill the atmosphere and reduce the amount of sunlight reaching the earth. That's not what Trump is talking about. He's not talking about global warming at all. He's talking about LOCAL warming, which admittedly is quite bad in the middle of a nuclear explosion, but it's not global.

And, of course, there's the fact that there hasn't been a nuclear explosion set off by a hostile power in over 70 years, and the hostile power that did it was us. So we should probably do something about putting the only country to have used nuclear weapons in war in the hands of a crazy idiot who's weirdly obsessed with nuclear weapons. The biggest problem in the world won't be nuclear capacity for at least ten more months.

"There’s a very well-coordinated campaign — national campaign which is distorting the truth, which is frankly smearing our state in an inaccurate way, and which I’m working to correct. And I hope the media starts putting out more accurate information on the facts between a basic common sense bill which allows businesses to determine their own restroom and shower and locker room facilities, not government." - North Carolina governor Pat McRory, trying to explain why all the people calling the virulently anti-LGBT bill he just signed into law a virulently anti-gay bill are wrong.

And to be fair, the bill isn't JUST virulently anti-gay and anti-trans. Sure, it keeps any cities more enlightened than the state government from passing laws that protect LGBT people from discrimination, and sure, it mandates that statewide schools and government agencies become bathroom genital police to stop no predators who've ever pretended to be transgender ever. But it also limits state residents' abiility to sue over all the other kinds of discrimination, too. So, really, everybody's getting fucked.

And, because they rushed the bill through in a special session before they could get any publicity that would lead to second thoughts and corporate boycott threats like what happened in Georgia, I think we know what they really feared from the "well-organized opposition". But let this be a lesson to you. Any time a Republican promotes "common sense" or "local control", they're lying and trying to ruin your life at the expense of straight, white men.

“I think Bernie would probably encourage people [to vote for Clinton] because he doesn’t have any ego in this thing. But I think a lot of people are, 'Sorry, I just can’t bring myself to do that.'... I don’t know. I’m going to see what happens.” - Susan Sarandon, not helping.

See, this is why untempered idealism is dumb. Because it makes you dumb. See how it made Susan Sarandon dumb? She thinks Bernie Sanders doesn't have any ego in his RUN TO BE THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD. That's just ridiculous. Maybe he's bringing less ego than the other candidates, but he's bringing some. That's part of the job description of "presidential candidate". Bernie's not a fucking saint, he's not a fucking savior. He's just an old, cranky socialist who's right about a lot of stuff.

So yes, after you see what happens, you're going to fucking vote for Hillary Clinton, because Bernie will probably be eliminated early enough for you to get over your temporary blindness and disappointment and realize that preventing a Trump or Cruz disaster is probably pretty fucking important. The problem with saying shit like this is that you put the idea in the heads of the most fervent Sanders supporters that it's all or nothing with Sanders, which could depress turnout, and turnout will literally be the only thing that matters in November. We're not going to win hearts and minds. We just need more of them to show up, whoever's running against Trumpcruz.