Archive - Feb 2016

February 24th

Remember That Worst-Case Scenario?

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In August of last year, I wrote the following regarding the common belief that the Donald Trump candidacy wouldn't last. ACTUAL ME QUOTE TIME!

"And this is almost certainly true. It's not as true as it should be, though, and more importantly, it's not as true as the people who are saying it WANT it to be true. Because there is a chance - a slim chance, but a chance nonetheless, that Donald Trump could become a Thing."

Clearly, that chance wasn't anywhere near as slim as I thought it was. I'm not sure why I thought the chance was slim. But I guess nobody can be a perfect cynic. I blame being slightly too old at the time I discovered science fiction. My developmental years were spent with the optimistic futures of your earlier, hippie-influenced scifi, so the idea that the species will figure it out was ingrained before I could start paying attention. Damn you, space hippies!

This optimism shows up in August with the idea that Trump could still say something that could keep him from winning over a majority of Republican primary voters. Republicans have always had a Crazy Third. But that still leaves The Incrementally Less Crazy Two-Thirds who would vote against Trump. Except that these two thirds are now closer to 60%, and they're still evenly divided between the equally awful Cruz, Rubio, Kasich, and Carson.

So, while Trump's support is growing relatively slowly, he's still winning. And winning snowballs. You know who still believes that Trump can be beaten once it gets down to a one-on-one race? Marco Rubio. And Rubio's a fucking idiot. So let's abandon that line of thinking. By the time it gets down to a one-on-one race, Trump will have rolled through a bunch of states and will be the full-formed Shitamari I referenced last year.

One thing I did get right last August was the Republican establishment's complete inability to stop him. Bunch of feckless fuckers. They can't take away his money, and if you think I'm an optimist, these asshats also spent the last six months waiting around for Donald to flame out, not realizing they're responsible for the oxygen-free environment that's keeping Donald from catching fire.

I mean, seriously, fuck Newt Gingrich. I know that seems like an abrupt segue, but Gingrich went on Fox and Friends recently and said "Look, you could say that Trump is the candidate Fox & Friends invented. He was on your show I think more than any other show."

Yeah, because Newt Gingrich is such a distinct and separate entity from Fox News. And they're both so distinct from the Republican party establishment. And talk radio. Donald Trump isn't the Fox and Friends candidate, he's the Republican candidate. And he's on his way to become the Republican nominee. So you'd better fucking hope HIllary Clinton knows how to beat his ass. Because nobody on the Republican side does.