Archive - Oct 2016


October 30th


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Memo to the media: A LOT OF THIS IS ON YOU.

There are a lot of reasons this election is going to be way closer than it should be. Tribal patrisanship is a big one, of course. A lot of Republicans are going to talk themselves into voting for Trump in the hopes that he'll be a closely managed idiot in the Dubya mold and not a psychotic rapey maniac in the "Hitler, But With Both His Balls" mode, so that they can pack the Supreme Court.

But the other reason will be the media's coverage of the Clinton e-mail scandal, which reached an exciting new low this weekend, where the media spent 95% of its time analyzing what a thing means and five percent of its time figuring out what that thing is.

Because let's keep in mind, once again, what the Hillary Clinton e-mail scandal is. To make her work simpler, she set up a private e-mail server and almost entirely used it for non-classified State Department work. Some of the e-mails got deleted (one half of one percent of the e-mails "lost" by Dubya). A few of the e-mails were marked with a "C" which does not, depspite what you may have heard, mean "Classified".

That's it. That's the whole thing. In an absolute worst case scenario, she was sloppy with classified information and ordered a bunch of classified e-mails deleted to cover it up, potentially, but not actually, exposing secrets to hacking that didn't end up happening.

And after the FBI looked over all the e-mails they could find and the Republican head of the FBI announced that no charges against Clinton were warranted, they found a bunch of e-mails on a computer or something while searching through the computers in the Anthony Weiner household. Weiner, of course, is the soon to be ex-husband of Clinton aide Huma Abedin. So James Comey told Congress they had more e-mails to look through.

I'm not going to spend any time on Comey. Other people arguing over whether or not it was right for him to do what he did is PART OF THE PROBLEM. Because ultimately, it shouldn't matter whether or not Comey's actions are causing Trump to campaign on how the FBI totally caught MASTER CRIMINAL HILLARY CLINTON and will soon be locking her up.

Because whatever may or may not have happened, what we all know didn't happen is whatever Donald Trump is saying happened. So, you know. What's worse? Comey's announcement to Congress, Trump's deliberate misrepresentation of that report to whip his followers into a frenzy, or a complete failure to point out that's what Trump's doing? Here's a hint. It's the one the media did.

If I had a nickel for every time I heard someone this weekend say with a straight face that it doesn't matter whether or not this new investigation is relevant or important because it feeds into an existing narrative, I'd have enough for a nice sandwich. Or a large piece of posterboard I could write WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK THAT NARRATIVE CAME FROM on. Narratives don't spring forth from the head of Zeus, they gush from the gaping maw of Chris Matthews.

Remember, you can't spell "remedial" without "media". Maybe spend a couple of years going back to basics, ditching punditry and opinion in an attempt to discern what actually is and is not true, and then maybe we can slowly ease you back into opining about the meaning of what you find out.