Archive - Aug 7, 2013

Throwback... Wednesday?

« August 2013 »

Memo to Dubya, Joe Scarborough, and Rex Tillerson: YOU ARE DUMB.

I admit, today started off with a sort of old-school, throwback, weird daddy-issues vibe, but the quotes fall where the quotes fall, and the whole thing kind of disintegrates by the end. What is consistent is what is always consistent, and that's that IDIOTS SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS.

"You know what the interesting lesson is though, that you can keep learning in life. I mean, some guy one time said to me, ‘Man, you deserve to rest.’ And I don’t wanna rest. I wanna live life to the — I wanna follow the example of President 41 and, you know, sprint into the grave.” - George W. Bush, explaining why he spends all day sitting around and making creepy paintings.

No, him being dumb wasn't an act. First, of course you want to follow the example of President 41. Following his example has been your entire modus operandi since you were wriggling around in Nutsack 41.

Second, I don't know what noun you THOUGHT you were gonna put at the end of "living life to the...", but unless you were about to say "mildest", you were wrong. And third, if your dad is really trying to sprint to the grave, he's a bigger failure than you were, because he still hasn't gotten there. Still, if you want to prove you're better at your dad at something for the first time in your life, there are worse places to start.

"Men in their twenties, who unfortunately I think are weak, and stay at home, and play videogames and are weak, weak, weak and unmarriable! They’re just...there are no good men out there! Other than my son and his friends." - The chronically awful Joe Scarborough, on the kids today.

I love conservative tells. I love those moments where they go off-script and you get a peek into their weird, weird heads. I mean, that's FOUR "weak"s. Three in a row. Who does that? Someone with a fucked up head, that's who.

More specifically, someone with such a specific, narrow, and personal idea of what masculinity is, and obsesses over it so much, that they'd embarrass themselves on national television making a blanket statement about an entire generation, despite decades of recorded evidence of similar predictions being made about every generation by old assholes like Joe Scarborough.

"What good is it to save the planet if humanity suffers?” - Rex Tillerson, Exxon-Mobil CEO and apparent non-joker.

Just to remind you - we're all doomed.

I don't know what planet Rex Tillerson thinks he lives on, but the one I live on? There's a lot of suffering humanity on it already, and Rex Tillerson is going to make damn sure of two things - that a lot more humanity will suffer, and that he won't be part of it.

In other words, Rex Tillerson will melt the fucking ice caps and drown the coasts until you've given him all the money you can for every last drop of dinosaur juice, just to maintain his personal comfort level and the personal comfort levels of his cronies. And he's going to make damn sure he pays as few taxes as is humanly possible while he does it. And if you don't like it, well, as a wise man once asked: how long can you tread water?