Archive - Jan 2012
All I Need Now Is "No More Oil".
20 January, 2012 - 20:38 — Bryan Lambert
Memo to various aspects of the United States government: YOU ARE DUMB.
Here in Minnesota, it is finally properly winter. The nose hairs of a grateful population have, at long last, frozen and died off, waiting to be renewed in spring. People are finally swearing like sailors as soon as they get indoors and remove the layers of insulation barely protecting their faces from sloughing off. But does America care? America does not, because America is paying attention to South Carolina and is happy that Wikipedia is back up. And that's about as much of an intro as you're going to get for SPASTIC TOPIC MONKEY FRIDAY!
We start sort of where we left off, with a SOPA/PIPA update. One of the main defenses of PIPA I saw yesterday morning was that websites would not be targeted unless they were "dedicated" to copyright violation, and that if a site hosted non-infringing content, it was safe. On a completely unrelated note, the night before, I'd finally gotten around to grabbing the perfectly legal, free, new mixtapes from two of the guys in Das Racist. They'd put them up as ZIP files on Megaupload.
And yesterday, without even having the expanded powers sought by the backers of SOPA and PIPA, the U.S. government shut down Megaupload. Now, I'm not naive. I'm passingly familiar with Megaupload, and how it's largely used. But it does certainly tell you that the line between "infringing" and "not infringing" isn't a legally defined line, but rather something that's at the discretion of the people enforcing it. And that's why SOPA and PIPA are so dangerous.
On a related note, the move appears to have kicked off a large-scale global cyber-war, so for those of you playing Real Life Science Fiction World Bingo, you can mark that off on your cards.
I'd like to thank Rick Perry for dropping out of the Presidential race when he did. I actually checked, and have no backlog whatsoever of stupid shit he said that I meant to get around to mocking. I, like America, was fucking well done with Rick Perry. And what I find most astonishing about Perry is that he was actually rejected by the voters for being stupid and incompetent! It's a Texas Miracle!
Of course, like the real Texas Miracle, that's not entirely true. The fact of the matter is, the voters who rejected Perry have been bouncing around from candidate to candidate, and are currently engaging in sloppy seconds with Newt Gingrich (as if there could be any other kind of seconds with Newt). They rejected Perry because they had at least two other options, both as venal and hateful as Perry in their own way, but with less bumbling, forgetting third things, and fewer Brokeback Mountain jackets. I think we all know what these same voters would have done if Perry had somehow gotten the nomination, then made these exact same mistakes during the general election campaign. The same thing they did with Sarah Palin and Dubya.
And finally, I'd like to thank Georgia state representative Kip Smith, for proving that Republican hypocrisy isn't just about sticking your dick in things, then trying to convince your wife that makes it an "open marriage".
Smith is just one of hundreds of Republicans who, like the aforementioned Gingrich, support forcing welfare and unemployment recipients to get drug tests, to make sure they're not having any fun whatsoever while on the government payroll. They continue to support this even though in Florida, where the bastards actually DO it, it's costing the state more money than it's saving by taking away the paltry benefits from the tiny percentage of recipients who test positive.
Well, last Friday, government employee Kip Smith ran a red light, was pulled over, initially refused a breathalyzer test, finally blew a .098, and was arrested for DUI. On a related note, I couldn't drive for like two days after reading this article, because my Blood Irony Content was above 0.2. Friends don't let friends drive while cackling madly with schadenfreude.