Archive - Jul 6, 2011

Connect The Ditz

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Memo to Mr. Batshit, Chris Smith, and John Nienstedt: YOU ARE DUMB.

Man, I'm glad I'm not gay. Because this would be just a maddening, crazy-making time for it. On the one hand, there's increasing cultural acceptance and the New York legislature passing same-sex marriage. On the other hand, the people that hate gays, and/or consolidate power by pretending to hate gays, are as loud as ever, and yet they're not suffering a minute's worth of the public shaming Tracy Morgan's gotten.

In other words, there are still shitloads of bigoted IDIOTS, and they continue to SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS.

We have to understand: barbarians need to be educated. They need to be disciplined. Just because someone feels it or thinks it doesn’t mean that we are supposed to go down that road. That’s what is called the sinful nature. We have a responsibility as parents and as authority figures not to encourage such thoughts and feelings from moving into the action steps. - "Dr." Marcus Bachmann, explaining to us all how homosexuality works.

I'm not even going to get into how offensive and douchey that is. We all know. I mean, the guy married Bachmann and forced himself to impregnate her a few times, he can't be that sharp a knife to begin with. Instead, I'm going to point out two dots and we can all draw the obvious line between them together.

First dot - Marcus Bachmann thinks that gay people are like "barbarians" who simply need to be "educated" so that they don't act on their "sinful nature".

Second dot - Marcus Bachmann operates a Christian therapy center in Minnesota, that receives state money to treat poor patients, and his motto is that "Christ is the Almighty Counselor."

If that doesn't scream ex-gay "reparative therapy" to you, then you're not paying attention. Other people have made this connection as well, and as yet, nothing conclusive has come to light, but if he's not doing that shit, I guarantee he really, really wants to but knows it's political poison.

"There’s something of a disconnect, perhaps because of the way Hollywood has portrayed the homosexual agenda. Both Obama and Clinton are pushing the gay-rights agenda in all of our foreign policy. It is integrated into our human-rights reporting and human-rights data calls. - New Jersey congressman Chris Smith, explaining why more people are comfortable with gay marriage despite the fact that it will doom us all to a nightmarish hellscape even worse than New Jersey.

Yes! How dare two large organizations with significant culture outreach dare to tell people what to think about homosexuality! I'm sure the people Smith was talking to, at the National Catholic Register, would agree that these organizations, with their international reach and their broad influence, should just shut the fuck up about homosexuality and let natural societal impulses take their course.

"The Minnesota Catholic Conference, made up of the seven Catholic bishops from the state, support this amendment not for prejudicial or political reasons, but rather for reasons that are theological, biological and pastoral.” - John Nienstedt, Minnesota archbishop, on the anti-gay-marriage constitutional amendment that should, I hope, die a painful death here in November 2012.

Well, since "theological" refers to two spots in the Bible, adjacent to lots of other prohibitions the Minnesota Catholic Conference doesn't give two shits in a Pope's hat about; since "biological" just refers to the obsession with genital shapes and procreation, and "pastoral" is some religious bullshit, since I'm assuming they don't object to gays because they spend lots of time in fields; I think we can safely conclude that yes, the insistence on a constitutional amendment is both prejudicial and political.

It's prejudicial, because all of their theological and biological reasons are bullshit, and it's political, because they're trying to enshrine their theological prejudices into the Minnesota state constitution. Doesn't get more political than that. Or more bigoted. Or more irritating.