Archive - May 2011

May 27th

Miss Sell Any

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Memo to all and sundry, mainly in the media and punditocracy: YOU ARE DUMB.

It's been a bad week for the media. Well, OK, it's been a worse week than usual for the media, which hasn't had a really good week since Watergate. Anyway, allow me to quickly recap and mock some of those failures, and possibly some other things, with the kind of brevity you'll never, ever get from Media Matters. SPASTIC TOPIC MONKEY FRIDAY!

In general, it has been official YAD policy to not bother commenting on Sarah Palin since she left political office. But I was shocked to see the hubbub and shock surrounding her plans to release a two-hour "documentary" about herself, titled "The Undefeated". Of course she's not undefeated. That's part of the marketing strategy.

You see, the reason Palin is no longer valid material for this column is that Sarah Palin is a multimedia marketing conglomerate with one client: Sarah Palin. "The Undefeated" is EXACTLY what Palin 720 would do, including the factually-challenged title. Same with her bus tour. And same with, if she announces, a presidential run. Sarah Palin sells Sarah Palin to anyone who will buy Sarah Palin, and she's determined all on her own that a potential Sarah Palin purchaser is born every minute.

And speaking of frequent purchases, I do not give a shit about Newt Gingrich's jewelry bill, and neither should you.

MSNBC, and Mr. Potato Head in particular, have been all over Newt for racking up a half-million dollars in credit purchases at Tiffany's, which were eventually paid off. On the list of problems with Newt's intellect, lifestyle, politics, and personal decision making, this isn't even the tiny drop of pus on the end of his abscess's boil's fifth pimple.

This is what money and privilege gets you, folks. Always has been. You can order as many engagement rings as you need, plus assorted baubles and dangles to get laid three times a year, and just tell Tiffany's to "put it on my account". And they will, and eventually you pay them, and they probably don't even charge you interest because you're a rich powerful politician and that brings a hell of a lot more perks and leeway than a free checking account at Bank of America.

This isn't even a NEW privilege. It's not a side effect of the concentration of wealth, it's not indicative of anything except omnipresent classism in America. The richer you are, the fewer pesky rules you have to deal with. So it was, so it always will be.

That said, if this stupid fucking story makes Newt Gingrich even more unpopular, that's fine by me. He was a leading player in ensuring that politics became this stupid in the first place, so karma reaps what payback's bitch sows, or whatever.

I suppose I should say something about Ed Schulz calling Laura Ingraham a "right-wing slut", then abjectly apologizing and voluntarily pulling himself off the air for an entire week.

And I suppose the first thing I should express is a total lack of surprise. See, Ed Schulz is a dick. I don't like having him on "my side". Not quite as much as I hate having Chris Matthews on my team, but close. At least Schulz isn't a moron. But he's not a liberal.

Ed Schulz espouses a brand of white, middle class populism that, not too long ago, would have been right at home in the Republican Party, except for his union support. He follows the Rush Limbaugh radio playbook, it's just that the targets he blames for the losses in the white middle class are generally better ones than Rush did. He's a deficit hawk, a military hawk, and a shouter with a complete lack of nuance. And since his requires him to talk shit about Republicans, he will, on occasion, say something stupid and inelegant, like 'right-wing slut".

On the other hand, every time Laura Ingraham gets her widdle fee-fees hurt, an angel gets its wings. So while what Schulz did didn't help, and will be forever cited by right-wing haters as an example of when "the left does it too", at least he said something bad about someone for whom nothing good can be said. So the whole thing's a wash.