You Are Dumb, which is not a blog, posts new columns every weekday, except for a couple of days each month when it doesn't. It is also a Twitter feed, @youaredumb, with content in a similar vein but much shorter. My spinoff food site, Forkbastard, can be found easily enough by the clever.
Archive - Dec 14, 2011
Memo to Kathleen Sebelius, Rick Santorum, and Ron Johnson: YOU ARE DUMB.
We're going to bend the rules a little bit in today's IDIOTS SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS, in that the first thing that will be said is actually very, very smart. It's something that should be said more often. There's even a slim chance that the person it's being said to has a decent response, although it will have to be a very, very good response to qualify as decent. But don't worry. The other two quotes are by complete fuckheads. I ain't rockin' the boat that hard on a Wednesday.
"We ask that you share with us your specific rationale and the scientific data you relied on for the decision to overrule the FDA recommendation. On behalf of the millions of women we represent, we want to be assured that this and future decisions affecting women’s health will be based on medical and scientific evidence.” - A letter from fourteen Democratic senators to HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius.
Imagine what kind of a world we could live in if "We ask that you share with us your specific rationale and the scientific data you relied on" were a standard applied across the board in government. Herman Cain would never have been the frontrunner. He never would have run in the first place. In fact, he might have been forced to stop selling shitty pizza. But in the specific case of Sebelius, I hope she actually answers the question.
See, the decision they're talking about his the unprecedented reversal by HHS of the FDA's decision that emergency contraception is safe to sell over the counter. This is important. If emergency contraception is sold openly on shelves, then it's going to render moot a big chunk of the embryo fetishist movement's work to implement conscience clauses for pharmacists that send women in need miles and miles out of their way while they look for a pharmacy that will fill their prescription and not call them a baby killer.
Sebelius insists the decision wasn't political. But it's almost an election year, and it's WAY too easy to imagine the Obama administration wanting to punt this down the road a year or so in the hopes of not giving the Republicans another social wedge issue to rile up their voters. So if the reasoning ISN'T political, it had better be really fucking scientific. I want that reason to be wearing a lab coat, thick glasses, and be holding a beaker full of bubbling green liquid. You know why? here's why.
"You have this administration, the most pro-abortion. They were trying to make the morning after pill an over the counter drug. This is just outrageous." - Rick Santorum, throwing red, red uterus meat to the base.
If this decision was political, it was doomed to failure, like every other move along these lines the Obama administration has made. Keep Plan B from going over the counter, and they'll blame you from trying to make it over the counter. Fuck, I'm actually surprised Santorum used both the past tense and the verb "trying" in his speech. For Old Frothy, that's a remarkable level of honesty and restraint. He could have come right out and accused Obama of deciding to put Plan B on shelves himself, and hiring former ACORN members to do the stocking. It's not like Santorum can lose the primary by any more than he's gonna already.
Give them what they want, and they'll pillory you because they had to even ask. That's what they do. They're dicks.
"Bottom line: when you’re a good worker you don’t stay at minimum wage for long. Trust me on that. It’s not universal. It’s not universal, but trust me as an employer, as an employer I certainly didn’t want to lose good employees. And so you actually have a better marketplace. And so if your employer is not paying you good wages and you’re a good worker, you go look for other places. Now that’s hard to do, that’s hard to do when we have such high levels of unemployment." - Senator Ron Johnson, proving my point.
See what I mean about being dicks? I'm wondering how many people the GOP can actually insult and marginalize while still remaining politically viable in America. I mean, I know it's about ten times as many as they SHOULD be able to, but come on. They spend decades cranking income equality to robber baron levels, then insist that all the people they forced into minimum wage jobs are just lousy workers employers don't want to bother keeping by giving raises.
I mean, the only people who'd fall for that are people with clinically low self-esteem, and the GOP's got most of THEM sewn up as part of the religious right already. They're just going to keep being dicks to as many people as they can unless it actually starts to bite them on the ass. It's getting to the point where Frank Luntz wouldn't even be able to help them talk their way out of it. You know, if people actually paid attention and wised up.