You Are Dumb, which is not a blog, posts new columns every weekday, except for a couple of days each month when it doesn't. It is also a Twitter feed, @youaredumb, with content in a similar vein but much shorter. My spinoff food site, Forkbastard, can be found easily enough by the clever.
Archive - Oct 26, 2011
Memo to Darrel Clark, Charles Webster, and Herman Cain: YOU ARE DUMB.
The world is full of bullshit. More than any one man can comprehend, much less mock on a regular basis. I let the end of the Iraq War largely pass un-noted, because if it IS really over, then it's long overdue, and if it's just being outsourced to Xe, then we won't know that for years. Rampant disenfranchisement - another topic I could touch, but don't. And hell, it's been a while since I've gone off on the blatant xenophobia of the Tea Party. Tell you what. Let's hit all three in this week's IDIOTS SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS!
"He needs to get out of politics and make room for an American." - Tea Party protester Darrel Clark, speaking eloquently on the political future of Rep. Ben Ray Lujan (D-NM), who, despite being of Latino descent, was born and raised in New Mexico.
You know, I follow most of the major lefty blogs out of a combination of necessity and vague sympathy. And for the past week or two, I've been seeing a common thread - that the Tea Party should find common cause with the Occupy Wall Street movement, because you don't get into the top 1% by running around in a tricorner hat.
They don't put it that bluntly, but basically, the Tea Party is just as screwed by corporate excess and political influence as the rest of us, and they're all about economic freedom, so why wouldn't they support the 99% movement? Well, you see, they're idiots.
I'm not saying this to demonize the Tea Party. Well, I am, but I'm not saying it JUST to demonize the Tea Party. But the fact is, the Tea Party, like the conservative Christianity that drives nearly 100% of it, is not about what it says it is about. The people involved do not believe what they claim to believe. And so it doesn't make a shitload of sense to pursue an alliance with a group based on their stated beliefs, when their true beliefs are more along the lines of hippie-lynching and insisting that brown people aren't American. And we all know how far pointing out their hypocrisy gets us, too.
"I get tired of talking about this because the law is clear. If I want to vote, I need to establish residency. I need to register my car and pay taxes in that community. You can’t just become a student and vote wherever you want." - Charles Webster, Maine GOP Chairman.
Webster is both right, wrong, and horribly wrong here, which is impressive. He's right in that the law is clear. He's wrong in that the law does not say anything like what he says it does. And he's horribly wrong when he thinks you have to pay taxes and own a car in order to be able to vote. He's just a couple of centuries behind the times on that one.
Look. I haven't been saying a lot about it, because the fact is, this column is not meant to affect change, and Herman Cain is fucking hilarious. But there is, nation-wide, a concerted GOP effort to disenfranchise millions of voters, inch by inch. Voter ID laws that keep poor people from voting under the guise of "preventing fraud". Attempts to delegitimize the student vote, like Webster's doing here. Various efforts in Pennsylvania and other states to switch to a new electoral vote counting method that would help a Republican presidential candidate in that state. It's endemic, and it's a problem. I hope it's not enough of a problem to swing 2012, but it's still a problem. I don't know if Webster is stupid, and believes what he says, or evil, and believes what he says should become true again, but either way, fuck that guy.
"What I would do differently is I would ask the commanders on the ground. This is what this president is not doing relative to that and that’s why a lot of people are critical of this decision." - Herman Cain, on the end of the Iraq War.
I told you that motherfucker was hilarious. I mean, really? "ask the commanders on the ground?" That's a talking point from the LAST election. That was part of the whole David Petraeus Is God argument that kept the fucking war going as long as it did. Cain just co-opted some ancient nonsense because there was a huge tardscum forming over the troop withdrawal and Cain didn't want to be left out.
And let's not fool ourselves into thinking that this was some spur-of-the-moment douchery from every single Republican they could get a microphone in front of. This was always the plan. Make a Democrat end their stupid war and then blame him for losing it. And on top of it, blame him for using the end of the war as a political ploy. That's what they do. They're dicks.