You Are Dumb, which is not a blog, posts new columns every weekday, except for a couple of days each month when it doesn't. It is also a Twitter feed, @youaredumb, with content in a similar vein but much shorter. My spinoff food site, Forkbastard, can be found easily enough by the clever.
Archive - Apr 27, 2007
Memo to my audience: TELL SOMEONE ABOUT YOU ARE DUMB.
It's that time again. The last Friday in April, which I have for all time designated as Tell Someone About You Are Dumb Day. The one day a year I ask the readership to create a bit of word of mouth - across the Internet, locally, or however they see fit. You don't have to, of course. We have a basic, simple contract here where I provide free content five days a week most weeks, and you in return think I'm pretty fucking awesome.
But since I am, in your own words that I've just placed in your mouth, pretty fucking awesome, why not take today's chance to spread the word and be my shameful, unnatural marketing minions? It's fun*, it's helpful**, and it only annoys your friends, neighbors, and online associates for a little while.
YAD is now over four years old, and is read by around a thousand people every day. Which is, as far as I'm concerned, already a fucking shitload. Even if you subtract all the Germans and the couple hundred people every month looking for horse-fuckees, it's a lot. The first time I did this back in 2004, if I got 50 visits in a day, it was a good day. A year later, three hundred people were checking in each day. Last year? 550. And this year, a grand. Sure, I'd still be doing this if was just those 30 die-hards from '04, but more ain't worse.
For those of you here for the first time, what I do here at You Are Dumb Dot Net is make fun of stupid people. I cover lots of topics, but generally focus on politics, religion, bigotry, pop culture, and whenever possible, people fucking animals, because people fucking animals is always funny. I call people bad names, because it's funny. I make dick and poop jokes, because dicks and poop are funny. I'm not fair, but I like to think I'm not intellectually dishonest, either.
And for the record, it's not a blog. It's a daily column. Think of it like Penny Arcade, except that I can't draw, so I have to type all thousand words. Oh, and I'm up more days a week and always on time. Since this is not a blog, you don't get to comment on the articles per se, although the FORUM link up there on the left will lead you to the place where a couple dozen regular readers chat.
The site has a mascot. Fernie, a pissed-off plant. We like Fernie. Fernie has a short, convoluted, and odd history which you can explore at your leisure.
If you don't have the kind of free time it would take to read through the over 800 columns I've produced since my modest beginning, I like to provide a helpful list of some of my favorite columns from the past year, or columns that cover particularly famous bits of stupidity.
You Are Dumb Dot Net. My gift to a world that fears and hates me. My gift... and my curse. If you like it, there'll be more on Monday. If you don't like it, fuck you, there'll still be more on Monday.