You Are Dumb, which is not a blog, posts new columns every weekday, except for a couple of days each month when it doesn't. It is also a Twitter feed, @youaredumb, with content in a similar vein but much shorter. My spinoff food site, Forkbastard, can be found easily enough by the clever.
Archive - Jan 4, 2007
Memo to Virgil Goode: YOU ARE A CANARY.
I'm sure a lot of you are wondering why I haven't mentioned Virginia representative Virgil Goode yet. I mean, the guy would be the You Are Dumb poster child if it weren't for all the horse and pigfuckers out there. I mean, he's southern, he's white, he's Republican, he's bigoted, and most importantly, he's not just dumb, he's UNREPENTANTLY dumb.
By now, you've heard all about Goode, his comments on the Ellison swearing-in, and his general fear of a Muslim planet. You've seen all the puns on his name, and read while the obvious holes in his logic got poked by all and sundry, and if you haven't, it's a brief search away. But since I've beaten the Ellison thing into a fine paste myself in this space, I figured I could pass on it and let the rest of the Internet do the leg work for me.
Goode does make an interesting new answer to an eternal question. Can someone say something so blatantly and publicly stupid that it is universally condemned by the punditocracy? Not yet, but we're getting closer.
But Goode's comments have importance beyond his own astonishing, Guinness-defying levels of pigfuckery. And it's great news for gays and Mexicans. Because as I've mentioned before, people like Goode exist to push the discourse in a particular direction. They establish an outer boundary of crazy so that the more serene lights of the punditocracy can say MOSTLY bugfuck things, and get away with them because they're less bugfuck than Virgil Goode.
It's good news for gays and Mexicans because of a particular meme that Goode hits hard and often - that Muslims are bent on infiltrating America in order to undermine it. ACTUAL QUOTE TIME!
"I believe that if we do not stop illegal immigration totally, reduce legal immigration and end diversity visas, we are leaving ourselves vulnerable to infiltration by those who want to mold the United States into the image of their religion, rather than working within the Judeo-Christian principles that have made us a beacon for freedom-loving persons around the world." - Rep. Goode, who is not so much a beacon of freedom as he is a fucking dimbulb.
In 2004, we were told that the homosexuals had a homosexual agenda, and were infiltrating heterosexual America in order to turn everybody gay. In 2006, we were told that Mexicans weren't just entering the country illegally to gut chickens for three dollars an hour. No, they were flooding across the border in order to retake the American Southwest and make it a de facto part of the Mexican nation. If you missed this gem, google Aztlan sometime.
But in 2007, the gay and Mexican plans to destroy America from within are going to take a back-seat to the Muslim plan to destroy America from within. Goode is the canary in our coalmine, the first one to drop a stinking, fetid, yellow lump into the public discourse. If you're a Muslim, Virgil Goode wants you to know you're going to have a shitty year.
And while I'm no fonder of Mohammed than I am of Jesus, I'm even less fond of the relatively powerless being demonized by the powerful for crazy shit any rational person knows they're not actually doing. But that's SOP for the GOP, especially shitheads like Goode.