Archive - Jan 2006

Am I Missing Something?

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Memo to the Democratic Party: LIE TO ME.

Tell me that wasn't the plan. Please. Lie to me if you have to. But whatever you do, please don't tell me your big plan for stopping Sam Alito consisted of John Kerry suddenly deciding to do something on Thursday and rounding up a whopping 25 of them to go along by today?

Actually, I know that wasn't your plan. That was your BACKUP PLAN. I know it was your backup plan because I watched the epic clusterfuck that was "Operation Hope He Says Something Stupid On Live TV". Which got completely derailed by one shot of Mrs. Alito in tears. When your entire political strategy can be struck down by one crying jag (and since it doesn't matter, I'll even allow for it to be genuine and not staged), then you have problems.

I do not understand the Democratic Party's objection to doing things they're going to be accused of anyway. Everyone's gonna THINK you did anyway, so why don't you? I simply don't get it.

For example. John Cornyn, Texas senator and gigantic asshole, spent the hearings complaining that Democrats had made up their mind on Alito. Of course, they hadn't. But they fucking well should have. Any Senator who actually thought the hearings were going to produce new information is either an idiot, or was accidentally frozen after the Bork hearings and just thawed out last November.

They should have known what they were going to do before the hearings even started. And then stuck to it. When you have Dianne Feinstein saying stupid shit about how she doesn't want him on the court, but doesn't want to do anything to stop it, and then changing her mind over this past weekend, it plays into every single stereotype the right has been building about Democrats for decades.

You're gonna be called partisan. SO BE PARTISAN. You're gonna get called obstructionist. SO OBSTRUCT. You're afraid of the nuclear option? What possible nominee could you need to use it on more? Unless you've been talking with Ann Coulter's rat-poison supplier, and you know something I don't, what's your fucking excuse?

What is being protected, what is being saved by not taking this stand, here, now. Your reputation? Already in the shitter. Your re-election chances? I hear a lot about "red-state Democrats" supporting Alito, but I have a hard time seeing a huge constituency who WOULD have voted Democrat if only they hadn't been mean to the poor, embryo-fetishizing guy with the tear-factory for a wife.

You tried facts. That got you kicked in the balls. You tried some kind of noble spirit of bipartisanship. That got you kicked in the balls. You tried some sort of half-assed rebellion led by Frankenstein Failure. And that got you kicked in the balls. And you will KEEP getting kicked in the balls until you somehow realize you're playing the game that the rest of us have seen for a decade or more.

Or we're all somehow missing something, and this was the latest in a series of brilliant, subtle, calculated moves to lull the Republicans even further into a false sense of national security. In which case it's working beautifully.